


Keep Breathing, My Angel, If You Go Down, I Go Down With You

by I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Death is Not Permanent, Immortal Alec, So..., also Gabriel was supposed to be Supernatural Gabriel but it didn't turn out that way, but I figured I'd warn for it anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-08 23:38:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14704869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own/pseuds/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own
Summary: In which sometimes, our dreams do come true.





	1. All Our Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> There will probably be the occasional 'Alex' in here because I have both a cousin and a friend called Alex so that's what my fingers auto type, I think I caught them all but, can't be sure.
> 
> Title/Chapter Titles are from One Man Drinking Games by Mayday Parade, which you should go listen to. :)

When he was younger, after the mess with his mother and his step-father, and the magic he could always feel rippling and roiling just beneath his skin, like if he looked, really looked, he’d see the magic running through his veins like an infection, back then he used to have… dreams. Prophetic dreams. Of course, it took him until he was well into his teenage years before he realized what they were, but he realized. And sometime after he’d found his way to the Silent Brothers, learnt to control his powers, the dreams stopped.

But they’re back now, with a mighty vengeance, and now he doesn’t even have his magic to blame them on, because it’s gone, bartered away to his father. Now all he has are the dreams.

_“Keep breathing, just keep breathing, my angel.”_

_“Mag-“_

_“Hush, hush, my angel, don’t speak. Just breathe.”_

The memory, the dream rushes up in his mind, and he presses his hand to his forehead and closes his eyes, wishing the images away. This wasn’t prophesy, it wasn’t, it can’t be, it’s just a nightmare.

But it won’t leave him alone.

_Alec is all but dead weight in his arms, shivering, and jerking at odd moments due to the pain, pain that Magnus’ magic can’t heal, can’t ease, can’t do anything to get rid of._

_“It’s alright, it’s okay. It’s alright Alexander, my Alexander, my angel. Just breathe.” He whispers, his arms holding so tightly to their burden, never wanting to let go. “It’s okay, my angel.”_

_“M-Mags-“_

_“Hush, hush, Alexander, save your strength. Just breathe.”_

_“Love. You.” Alec whispers over bloodied lips, and Magnus chokes on his own breath, on his own immortality. Feels a cold gripping his heart in a way he’s become intimately familiar with. A cold gripping, tearing at his heart in a way that death will never do, not for him. It’ll always stand back, get to him through other means._

_“I-I love you, too.” He mumbles, a little laugh bubbling up in his throat. “May I say I love you more?” he asks, a heartbroken smile on his face as he whispers the words to one of their secret inside jokes. Alec smiles, groans, and tries to roll away, but Magnus’ arms hold firm. “Shh, shh, my angel, just breathe.”_

Magnus opens his eyes to his loft on fire, so far just the curtains, and the carpet, and the furniture, nothing that’s not fixable. He takes a deep breath in, lets it out slowly and lets his magic caress his fingertips as he wills it to undo its damage. It’s not until the room is looking as it should that he stares down at his fingers in horror. His magic crackling at the tips of his fingers, in a way it hasn’t in _months._

“Why now?” he whispers, looking around, as if expecting his father to step out of the shadows, but his father is still in Edom. “Why?” he asks again, and closes his hands, lets the magic dissipate. He hadn’t expected to have it back for a century, at least, maybe two, but here it is, warm and familiar. He takes a shuddering breath in, closes his eyes, and wills himself to wake up.

He doesn’t wake up.

* * *

With the return of his magic, the prophetic dreams stop, so too does the nightmare. Magnus is thankful, so, so utterly _grateful_.

Until he is not.

* * *

“Hey, hey, hush, hush, just breathe, my angel.” He whispers, his arms tight around Alec, as his magic wraps itself all up in Alec, and tries to heal that which Magnus already knows he cannot. There’s just too much, too much blood loss, too much poison, too much demon ichor, too much. Not even Alec’s _iratze_ has any effect.

“Mags-“

“Shh, shh, just breathe. Just breathe my angel, just breathe.” Magnus whispers, over, and over, and over again. Giving everything he has to a lost cause. But he always has, always. “Just breathe.”

“Love. You.”

“I know, I love you, too. I’ll always love you. You’re everything, Alexander. So, angel, I just need you to breathe.” He says, failing to keep the pleading out of his voice, but Alec smiles, and closes his eyes. “Stay with me, Alexander. Please.”

“It’s ‘kay.” Alec whispers, and between one breath and the next, he’s gone. Magnus lets out a wounded little cry and tries to pull Alec even further into his arms. His magic still crackling on the tips of his fingers, as it flows all through Alec, trying and failing to heal a dead man, to bring a dead man back to life.

“Alexander. Please.”


	2. May I Say I Loved You More?

One moment, he’s looking up at Magnus, trying to find the words to let him know that it’s okay, that Alec knows he’s dying, and he’s okay. The next moment, he’s standing off the side, watching as Magnus sets his broken heart on giving everything to a dead man.

“Magnus.” Alec yells, rushing forward, reaching out, trying to pull Magnus arms away, trying to grab his hands and stop the flow of magic. But he can’t, his hand going right through his lover, and he screams. “Stop. Let me go. You have to let me go.”

“Love is a wonderous thing.” An unfamiliar voice says behind Alec, he spins on his feet and finds someone who can only be an angel staring back at him.

“Love is everything.” Alec snaps, turning back to his lover. “Magnus, you have to stop, please. You can’t, you can’t.”

“I think you’ll find he can. One way or another, he’s determined to be by your side again.”

“He’ll go to Edom!”

“No. His father was an angel, once. Should Magnus Bane pass from the living world, he’ll be given a choice, heaven or hell. The time for his choice is fast approaching. To give all that he is giving to a dead man, it will not bring you back, but it will bring him to you.”

“Because he’ll be dead!”

“Yes.”

“No.” Alec exclaims, tears streaming down his face. “This was my fault, my mistake. I was distracted, I-I can’t let him die for me.”

“Is that not his choice to make?”

“No.” Alec mutters, desperately reaching out to his lover, clawing at him, but still having as much success as Magnus himself is having with his own goal. “Please, please, there has to be something, anything, just send me back.” Alec begs, turning to look at the angel, who watches him with calculating eyes.

“Were Raziel here, he might throw you back without payment, without price. But my little brother is as sentimental a fool as you.” The angel states, a frown forming on his face. “I will send you back, little Nephilim, but you will no longer be a Shadowhunter. You will be immortal, as your warlock is. You will have magic, as he does. But where he is demonic, you will be angelic. You will learn, in time, he will teach you all that you need to know. Do you accept?”

“Yes, yes, whatever it takes. Anything.” Alec says, watching as Magnus starts to waver, too much of his magic given to a lost cause. “Please.”

“Very well, little Nephilim. My name is Gabriel, remember it, for we will meet again.” The angel says, and he fades away. Alec wants to protest that nothing has happened, when suddenly, he’s lying on the cold ground, arms like vices wrapped around him. He can feel demonic energy swirling around him, its intent to heal, but in his raw, new state, all it does it burn. He screams, and the magic stops.

“Alexander?” Alec hears the voice, and suddenly he remembers.

“Magnus.” He exclaims, scrambling to his knees and turning quickly to face his lover. “Magnus, Magnus, Magnus.” He reaches out, pulls his lover tight to his chest, and hugs him as he whispers his name repeatedly.

“You-you were dead.” Magnus whispers against his chest, he feels the way his warlock trembles against him, and he takes a deep breath in.

“Yes, yes, and then I watched you try to throw your life away, so I made a deal with an angel.” Alec answers, his voice little more than a whisper. “And may I say I love you more?” Alec says, grinning. Magnus gives a breathless little laugh against his chest.

“What was the price?” Magnus asks, pulling back to look at him, but Alec can tell from the furrowing of his brow, that his beautiful, powerful, intelligent warlock is already figuring it out. “You-your runes…”

“I’m not a Shadowhunter anymore.” Alec answers, feels a momentary stab of pain and regret at the admission, but then it fades away, as if it was never there. He has already made peace with his decision. “The angel made me immortal, like you. He made me magical, like you. But he said where you are demonic, I would be angelic. I don’t understand, but he said you’d help.”

“Yes, yes, of course. Of course, I will.” Magnus replies, scrambling forwards again to wrap his arms around Alec and just hold him. “Later.”

“For once, we have forever.”

“Yes.”


End file.
